Nudity woman campaigner fully clothed in glory

Amal Rigal leader of the influential UFAFH emerges from nudity protest fully clothed with glory
cheering amal rigal
Caption: Kuwaiti men cheering Amal Rigal outside the Avenues Mall.
The Gulf state of Kuwait last night was more optimistic of its future a champion of the Arab Spring, democracy and women rights than at any time since independence following the spectacular confidence lifting by the leader of the fast emerging UFAFH as one of the most influential global women organizations.
Women all over the Arab world joined in celebrating the outstanding success of Ms Rigal by staging solidarity sit-ins in main squares, parks and strategic locations including popular restaurants, coffee shops and a number of government corporate offices. Held high with pride where signs “We are all Amal Rigal”, “UFAFH here we come” and “Strength in numbers is a mover, strength in nude numbers is a mountain mover”.
Safia Mahdi, an Egyptian university student leading an estimated 500 protesters in a corner of Tahrir Square told reporters while dancing topless that Amal Rigal has achieved nude what no other woman in history achieved fully clothed. “Men may ignore women staging protests to demand full respect of their rights but Amal has proven beyond doubt that protesting naked will force men to pay unbelievable attention and surprising eagerness to join in with the demonstrators as swiftly as possible,” adding, “Men have failed us in every cause – in promoting democracy, in protecting women rights,, in improving living standards and even in beds. We Arab women will liberate the entire Arab world with our pussys and the world will rise in shock and awe and salute our steadfastness and bravery.”
The momentum sweeping the Arab world began in Kuwait early last night when most of Kuwait city was virtually deserted as the majority of its citizens, estimated at 630,000 strong, crammed into the Avenues Mall to voice their support for Ms Amal Rigal, the 2011 Gulf beauty queen and chairperson of the powerful UFAFH, a United Nations approved non-violent, non-profit, fun-loving, social organization.
Ahlam Othman, a Routers correspondent covering the hugely anticipated event, said Ms Rigal led a peaceful protest held at the largest shopping complex in Kuwait to voice strong objection to the increasing intrusion of the influential Religious Industrial Complex (RIC) in the private parts of women in the Islamic World.
As promised, Ms Rigal made her speech to the gathering, one of the largest held in the Gulf countries in almost 50 years, completely naked. More than 400 leading delegates of the UFAFH lined up in rows of 12 women each in front of Ms Rigal with not a single stitch on standing up and then sitting down every 90 seconds to the maddening cheers of the crowd.
Rolling in front of the crowd a protest sheet some nine meters long of major fatwas issued by the RIC and judged by the UFAFH unbearably intrusive in the private parts of Muslim women everywhere, Amal told the crowd: “The RIC has crossed all barriers of decency and common-sense. The life of Muslim women can only be described as living hell and we are all very confused. According to members of the RIC in Saudi Arabia, we cannot have sex with our husbands fully naked. According to the Yemeni members of the RIC in Yemen, we cannot have sex with our husbands fully clothed. According to ibn Abbas we can be screwed by our husbands only sideways. According to ibn Haytham we can be screwed by our husbands only crossways. According to Abu Wafa we can be screwed by our husbands only kneeling forwards. According to Muqatal we can be screwed by our husbands only kneeling backwards. There are sixty four more positions ordered by the RIC nobody seems capable of imagining let alone implementing. We Muslim women at the UFAFH wrote to the RIC that we are willing to be screwed but they have to make up their fucking minds on how to screw us. If they continue on this course they will end up being screwed instead.”
Interrupted by a standing ovation lasting more than 11 minutes, the longest known in the Arab World, Ms Rigal told the increasingly agitated crowed, “Truth be said, we at the UFAFH are already dizzy from turning round for our husbands all the time in bed, so the last thing we need is a carousel of fatwas going round in the opposite direction. According to Al Tabri, the men of science were not unanimous on what to do to us, Muslim women, during period time. Ibn Abbas thought wives should not be screwed when they have their periods, but then qualification – “avoid screwing their pussys”. What does that mean? Screwing something else? We simply don’t know. Our friends Ouf and Mohammad advised that husbands and wives can sleep on the same mattress but with different covers. Fair enough, but would the RIC answer our bloody letters on what color sheets we are allowed to buy before we use them? No.”
Following another standing ovation lasting more than seven minutes Amal said: “Next on the RIC agenda is what to do to us during period time. Aisha said ‘everything is free for the husband except the pussy’.  Well done, Aisha, this is the main point in our manifesto but some members want a re-think. Maymoon, on the other hand, thought otherwise: ‘Everything beyond the belly button’. Fair enough but would the RIC answer our bloody letters on which beyond is it – up or down, and are ears included? No.”
And girls, listen to what Mujahed told other men to do to us: “اطعن بذكرك حيث شئت فيما بين الفخذين والأليتين والسرة، ما لم يكن في الدبر أو الحيض.”
‘”You may stab (يطعن) with your penis wherever you please – between the two thighs, between the two hips, in the belly button, wherever, but not the pussy or the bottom.”
Seriously, Mujahed?
Is this the most crucial challenge confronting Islam – where to stab us with your penis during periods? Is the greatest issue deliberated by the greatest scholars of Islam is how to stuff their penises in harmless belly buttons?  Is pressing a penis between hips more pressing for the great scholars of Islam than freedom, democracy, poverty, terrorism, human rights, illiteracy, female circumcision, to name but a few?
Shame on you, Mujahed, and on all others like you, including al Tabri, for using the interpretation of the Holy Quran to discuss our private parts. Did it occur to you you are talking about your own daughters as well as the daughters and wives of every Muslim?
And my sisters, I beg all our Arab sisters forgiveness, but I’m going to say in their names: “Men! If you are incapable of treating us like 21st century citizens we want to go back to the time of our Prophet, Allah bless his name. We were respected more and we had more rights.” Now I want to say: seriously, Mujahed, seriously!
We don’t want to stab your belly button so why on earth do you want to stab ours?  If the RIC believes women are not safe to touch during periods the bloody husbands can sleep on the bloody couch. Why do you think couches are made for if not for this? But this is not the issue. We are the ones being screwed and stabbed in the belly button and everywhere else. Shouldn’t we be consulted? It is our fucking belly button, you know, shouldn’t men ask for permission first? Do we exist at all except as sex toys and baby bags? Does anybody at the RIC care?
Seriously! Seriously!
Roaring with “Seriously Mujahed seriously, no sex for you obviously”, UFAFH delegates began moving towards the main exit of the Avenues Mall cheered by the entire citizens of Kuwait. Showered by kisses thrown to them by the delegates, almost half Kuwait’s police force lined up the streets leading to the mall to protect the delegates with fingers raised with the sign of victory and support unusually high, and the fingers parted slightly more than normal.
Our correspondent Ahlam concluded: “Nobody cared about the little inconveniences. Everybody was happy and it was gloriously festive. Consider this as my resignation. I’m joining Amal at the UFAFH as her press secretary. You can e-mail me at”
Want to read first part?

What should I do?

Poetry for proud girls

What should I do?

What should I do
So you’ll believe
My love is true?

What should I say
Except the truth,
The snow is white,
The grass is green,
My love is pure
The sky is blue?

If it’s naughty you prefer,
I’m as naughty as you’ll get,
Just name your game,
Tell me when and tell where
Whatever the bet
We’ll play.

If serenity is your taste,
I’m fine,
I’m calmer than the calmest sea,
I’ll tiptoe in and tiptoe out,
And only when you feel your lips,
You’ll know the warmth
That lingers there,
Is mine.

There’s a key to every lock,
To everywhere a way,
I have a heart,
And I also have pride,
It could be yes
It could be no
When you say you’ll answer me,
I’ll ask.


God help men – Arab girls are catching up fast

Arab girls are catching up with their European and American sisters fast
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A social study of matrimonial trends in the Arab World confirms Arab girls are catching up fast with their European and American associates of Universal Womanhood, a sign they are ignoring idiotic fatwas (sham Islamic rulings) ordering them not to strip totally naked in front of their husbands.
Hundreds or Kuwait girls, historically known for their determination and independent thinking, are defying a recent such fatwa by a Saudi idiot by cooking, cleaning and doing the dish washing completely naked.
A study by Kuwaiti  psychologist, Al Kuwaiti Al-Muttalaq, a male,  confirms 10% of Kuwaiti wives beat up their husbands regularly. He noted the trend is increasing fast and includes a wonderful selection of body parts of husbands such as cheeks, shoulders, chest, bottoms and arms.
He wrote that Saudi wives are not doing as well with only 5% of wives identified as husband molesters by the police according to complaints filed by distressed husbands. In Egypt, he observed, the percentage is 20%, a relatively high volume that can be explained by the fact that Egyptian husbands on average are smaller than their counterparts in Kuwait or Saudi Arabia by 12.09%.
Al-Muttalaq is optimistic the trend will accelerate as Arab women become more independent and authoritative after 1,300 years of persecution by the influential Religious Industrial Complex (IRC) whose members issued no less than 7,00 fatwas generally considered by Arab women “fuckingly restrictive”.
Amal Rigal, the Kuwait chairperson of the United Front Against Fucking Husbands (UFAFH), a United Nations approved non-profit, peace-loving social organisation, said the Front is studying data collected by social experts in Europe and the United States to raise the number of husband molestation cases by Arab wives as quickly as possible.
Amal told reporters: “Dr. Al-Muttalaq’s study shows 26.92% of American married sisters and 19.72% of British married sisters beat up their husbands regularly. With new strategies currently implemented, we are confident Kuwaiti wives will knock the pants off American and European sisterly averages within five years. Arab men are more vulnerable than American or European men because they are circumcised and therefore less able to defend themselves against targeted attacks. We, girls, should exploit this weakness strongly.”
Added Amal: “No idiots, Saudi or otherwise, should dare tell us we Muslim girls they know Islam better than us. We come out to the world pure Muslims. If Allah, blessed be his name, wanted us to have hijabs we should have emerged from our mums’ wombs wearing one and the boys already circumcised. So enough is enough. Our next urgent move under consideration is to widen the protest against idiotic religious so called by themselves “scholars’ not just to include cooking, cleaning and  dish washing completely naked, but to start parading our sexiest members with not a stitch on in supermarkets and department stores. Initial consultations with managers of shopping complexes are very encouraging. Sales are guaranteed to shoot sky high and we’re promised 14% of all profits to help us finance  protests across Saudi Arabia and the rest of the Gulf countries and maybe Europe and the United States as well.”
“I say to all our sisters all over the Arab world: rise girls and cast away the shackles imposed by turban-headed idiots: Steel yourselves with courage and decency and STRIP! Our honoured member Amina Widad said it very clearly: Get your fatwa off our arses! I only have to add the word ‘literary’ and call on you to assist those deprived men to wank themselves to extinction.”►NEW: Amal Rigal has given her first maiden speech. Read all about it on this page. Here’s a link but hurry
Amal Rigal leader of the influential UFAFH emerges from nudity protest fully clothed with glory

Katrina Kaif and Salman Khan, sing away and make good Muslims happy

Katrina Kaif and Salman Khan, sing away and make good Muslims happy. The title of your song is “Islamically” fine
‘Inshallah’ and ‘Mashallah’: What’s the difference?There’s a whiff of confusion concerning the two popular phrases “inshallah’ and “mashallah”.”Inshallah’
Somebody wrote on the web: “Say ‘mashallah’” is a request, or more of a command, that my family gave me habitually when I first moved back from the US.”
That doesn’t seem to be the case. The correct word to use in this case is ‘inshallah’. The phrase is a linguistic compression of three different words:
1 ‘In’, in this case, is a conditional proposition that functions almost exactly like ‘if’ in English. The wider usage is the same like English ‘in’, originally a full prehistoric root *’N.
2 ‘Sh’ (IPA ‘š’) is short for [sha’] “willing, want, prefer”, the last letter of which is a very short ‘a’ called a ‘hamza’.
3 ‘Allah’ is a name some people think it is specific to the Muslim God. This is not the case. The name ‘Allah’ is linguistically rooted in a prehistoric bilateral or mono syllabic root morpheme, i.e. made of two letters ‘il’ or ‘el’. It was originally the name given to God by a famous nation ‘Ud’ that lived in south east Arabia. ‘Il/el” is the prehistoric root for God in Judaism “El ohim” and Christianity ‘EL’ or ‘Eli’, as in Arabic translations of the New Testaments. Islam did nothing more than to claim the name for God known in Arabia before history. The rest followed, not vice versa.
Of course one can say ‘mashallah’ to mean ‘it is the course that Allah may choose’ but it is not common in Arabic. What is common in this case is the phrase ‘Ila mashallah’ “endlessly, to a time known only to God”.

Two requirements are needed for all types of communicative speech,
1- Consensus on pronunciation of the word,
2- Consensus on the meaning of the word.
Without this dual consensuses, some people may pronounce a word differently from others so people may be confused and assume it has a different meaning.
Like ‘inshallah’, ‘mashallah’ is made of three segments:
1- ‘Ma’ “whatever, whichever” but functions also interrogatively,  “What (ma) is your name?” It is also a negation article like ‘la’ “no, not” with some differences. Example: “Did you see my flying carpet?” Answer: “Ma shift, maybe the cat is using it for prayer.” (I didn’t see it…
Some words or phrases become idioms or expressions. Most people agree on the meaning or meanings and use them so. ‘Mashallah’ is one of them.
Examples of popular usage:
1- Ridicule: ‘Mashallah, you’ve become the biggest liar in the Indian sub continent.”
2- Wonder, appreciation and fun: ‘Mashallah Katrina Kaif, what legs! Their elegance is sufficient to convert half the people of Zimbabwe to Islam.”
The religious aspect in these two examples does not apply because the expression is used by Christians; they are in the millions and it is their language as well. Most of them use ‘Allah’ for “God” and the same applies to Maltese, a unique tongue of mixed ancient “Semitic”, Arabic, English and Italian. Their number is small, 400,000, so they all live in the Hilton hotel.

You wouldn’t use such expressions in a mosque or religious ceremonies or very seriously. In this case the expression should be uttered in classical Arabic: Example, “Ma sha’ Allah, this is beautiful mosque.”

Should Salman Khan Katrina Kaif use ‘mashallah’ as the title of their song?
I’ve read some complains on the internet, probably on religious grounds.
I can’t think of any reason why not, and nobody should object. If the ban is not in the Holy Quran then there is no ban. Only the Quran is sacred. Everything else is not.
What we have to understand is that the Holy Quran did not invent Arabic so Islam does not have an exclusivity of usage of Arabic. It was the language of Arabians and others for thousands of years before Islam and all the roots of Arabic are prehistoric with hundreds of words in Akkadian. What is correct is to say he Holy Quran used Arabic for the holy texts.
Both ‘Islam’ and ‘Allah’ are from prehistoric roots so there is no exclusivity for Islam on either word. Those who read classical Arabic would know that the prayer of some people before Islam was ‘Lubayak Alllahhuma lubayak. “Allah, we give you our hearts”. This was exclusive to Qureish tribe (Yaqoobi history, vol. I, p. 255).
Katrina Kaif and Salman (his first name joins Islam in sharing the same prehistoric root *LM) Khan, sing away and make good Muslims happy. Muslims should enjoy the song. Those who believe the title is not Islamic may want to stick to Carmina burana and leave us, practical Muslims, alone. Nobody on Earth has the right to judge the true belief of other people – this is Allah’s exclusive right. For all we know, Katrina may be waving from one of the towers of heaven to all those languishing outside who thought they were really fantastic Muslims.
We should be very proud to have Katrina, OK and Salman not criticise unfairly. The are giving Muslims joy. Some others have given them phenomenal grief, destruction and terrorism. Here’s how an Arab Muslim girl may react to the song ‘Mashallah’: ‘Ya Allah shu helo!’ “Oh Allah, how sweet!”
Hey guys and girls out there: “Allah is beautiful and he loves beauty”. Relax people – Islam is a civilised, free-flowing silk mantle not a straight jacket.

My gratitude goes to Ms Serenity, Shaheen Maroye, for alerting me to the song Mashallah.

Bishtawi is author of 20 books including Assal Al Kalam:  (Origin of Speech): The prehistoric ancestral origins of Ariba and Arabic

Mashallah song and dance

Lizzy wants to tell you a story about boys

Lizzy wants to tell you a story about boys

Though warned repeatedly not to eat his jam sandwiches in the back of his elder brother’s car, little Mike loves to do just that. As he was enjoying smearing the back seat with his jam-laced fingers, he sees his brother coming. He hides under the seat. His brother comes in followed by his girlfriend. The elder brother drives to lovers’ lane. He stops the car and turns to his girlfriend, “We are here. Do you want or you don’t want?” She looks at her little finger. “I think this little finger is smaller than the other, so no! I don’t want.”
He waits a couple of minutes then turns to her again, “Think about it, do you want or you don’t want?” She says, “I don’t want and I told you why.” After two more minutes he says, “For the last time, do you want or you don’t want?”
She had enough. She bursts, “How many f….times do I have to tell your f….head I don’t f….want?”
“Fine,” the elder brother says, “open the door and go back on foot.” She does exactly that still swearing.
The elder brother returns home and heads for his bedroom to be with his girl against her wish.
Little Mike creeps out of the car silently and heads for the garage and returns with his bicycle. He pedals to Lizzy’s house. She’s playing outside. “Behind me,” he shouts,”We’re going places.” He cycles all the way to the lovers’ lane, stops and turns back to her, “Lithy,” he says, “Do you want or you don’t want?” Lizzy says, “I want.” Little Mike is confused. He waits a couple of minutes, “Lithy, think about it, do you want or you don’t want?” Lizzy says, “I want. I really do.”
Little Mike is truly confused, so he asks again, “For the last time, do you want or you don’t want?”
Lizzy had enough. She bursts, “How many f…. time’s do I have to tell your f….head I f….want? I don’t know what in hell is this thing that you want me to want but I want it, and I want it now, so I’ll say it again, ‘I want,I want, I want!”
Mike is absolutely confused, “Damn it! It didn’t work. OK, You take the bicycle and I’ll walk home.”
Lizzy’s heart is broken. “Oh, poor boy. You look sad. Come, we’ll go together but only if you tell me what is it you think I should want? You asked me three times, so it must be important. Could it be sex?”
Little Mike shrugs his shoulders, “Beats me, no idea.”
Lizzy is angry again. “So you don’t want?”
Now Mike is confused, again. “Want what?”
Lizzy had enough, “Mum is right. She said boys keep nagging you to want something they want; when you say ‘yes’ to the thing they want you to want they don’t want to say ‘yes’ to the thing you said you want for the thing they wanted you to want in the first place. So I’m going to say it again: I don’t want, I don’t want, I don’t want.”
Now little Mike is absolutely, absolutely confused. “Don’t want what?”
Lizzy is equally confused. “I don’t know what I don’t want. Do you know what is it that I don’t want?”
Little Mike threw his head back, “Dad is right. He said girls want but they don’t want to tell the boy what is it that they want, so the boy has to do the thing the girl wants him to do without him knowing that he’s exactly doing what the girl wants him to do without telling him that the thing he’s doing is actually the thing she wanted him to do but -”
Lizzy screams really loud. “Stop it! You gave me a headache. I told mum in the morning I do’t want to wake up today but she insisted, and look at me now.”
Mike is broken hearted, “What do you want to do now?”
Lizzy says, “I want you to tell me what is it that I want to do.”
Mike smiles. “I know that. We dump the damn bicycle here and both of us will head back home on foot.”
Lizzy smiles back, “That’s exactly what I wanted. One day in the far future I’m going to want you to say ‘I do’ and you will say it because you really, really, really want to say it but you are not sure what I’ll say.”
Mike: “If it is in the far future why are you telling me now?”
“Because you’ll forget that I told you I want you to say it and you will think it is your own idea which it is. Can you please forget now what I’ve just told you?”
“If you tell me what is it that you’ve just told me I will, no problem.”
Lizzy is really happy. “You’re a super fast learner. Of course I’ll say ‘yes’ but don’t tell yourself that, promise?”
“Promise what?”

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