Lizzy wants to tell you a story about boys

Lizzy wants to tell you a story about boys

Though warned repeatedly not to eat his jam sandwiches in the back of his elder brother’s car, little Mike loves to do just that. As he was enjoying smearing the back seat with his jam-laced fingers, he sees his brother coming. He hides under the seat. His brother comes in followed by his girlfriend. The elder brother drives to lovers’ lane. He stops the car and turns to his girlfriend, “We are here. Do you want or you don’t want?” She looks at her little finger. “I think this little finger is smaller than the other, so no! I don’t want.”
He waits a couple of minutes then turns to her again, “Think about it, do you want or you don’t want?” She says, “I don’t want and I told you why.” After two more minutes he says, “For the last time, do you want or you don’t want?”
She had enough. She bursts, “How many f….times do I have to tell your f….head I don’t f….want?”
“Fine,” the elder brother says, “open the door and go back on foot.” She does exactly that still swearing.
The elder brother returns home and heads for his bedroom to be with his girl against her wish.
Little Mike creeps out of the car silently and heads for the garage and returns with his bicycle. He pedals to Lizzy’s house. She’s playing outside. “Behind me,” he shouts,”We’re going places.” He cycles all the way to the lovers’ lane, stops and turns back to her, “Lithy,” he says, “Do you want or you don’t want?” Lizzy says, “I want.” Little Mike is confused. He waits a couple of minutes, “Lithy, think about it, do you want or you don’t want?” Lizzy says, “I want. I really do.”
Little Mike is truly confused, so he asks again, “For the last time, do you want or you don’t want?”
Lizzy had enough. She bursts, “How many f…. time’s do I have to tell your f….head I f….want? I don’t know what in hell is this thing that you want me to want but I want it, and I want it now, so I’ll say it again, ‘I want,I want, I want!”
Mike is absolutely confused, “Damn it! It didn’t work. OK, You take the bicycle and I’ll walk home.”
Lizzy’s heart is broken. “Oh, poor boy. You look sad. Come, we’ll go together but only if you tell me what is it you think I should want? You asked me three times, so it must be important. Could it be sex?”
Little Mike shrugs his shoulders, “Beats me, no idea.”
Lizzy is angry again. “So you don’t want?”
Now Mike is confused, again. “Want what?”
Lizzy had enough, “Mum is right. She said boys keep nagging you to want something they want; when you say ‘yes’ to the thing they want you to want they don’t want to say ‘yes’ to the thing you said you want for the thing they wanted you to want in the first place. So I’m going to say it again: I don’t want, I don’t want, I don’t want.”
Now little Mike is absolutely, absolutely confused. “Don’t want what?”
Lizzy is equally confused. “I don’t know what I don’t want. Do you know what is it that I don’t want?”
Little Mike threw his head back, “Dad is right. He said girls want but they don’t want to tell the boy what is it that they want, so the boy has to do the thing the girl wants him to do without him knowing that he’s exactly doing what the girl wants him to do without telling him that the thing he’s doing is actually the thing she wanted him to do but -”
Lizzy screams really loud. “Stop it! You gave me a headache. I told mum in the morning I do’t want to wake up today but she insisted, and look at me now.”
Mike is broken hearted, “What do you want to do now?”
Lizzy says, “I want you to tell me what is it that I want to do.”
Mike smiles. “I know that. We dump the damn bicycle here and both of us will head back home on foot.”
Lizzy smiles back, “That’s exactly what I wanted. One day in the far future I’m going to want you to say ‘I do’ and you will say it because you really, really, really want to say it but you are not sure what I’ll say.”
Mike: “If it is in the far future why are you telling me now?”
“Because you’ll forget that I told you I want you to say it and you will think it is your own idea which it is. Can you please forget now what I’ve just told you?”
“If you tell me what is it that you’ve just told me I will, no problem.”
Lizzy is really happy. “You’re a super fast learner. Of course I’ll say ‘yes’ but don’t tell yourself that, promise?”
“Promise what?”

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